Welcome to February – the month when the disillusion sets in.
When the new year starts, our optimistic selves happily set up goals and lay out an action plan. Sometimes we are able to stick to our plan (and even put in extra efforts in the first month, but other times life gets in the way and we fall off track slightly. Either way, February is usually the time we do our first “check-in” and get upset by ourselves.
Here are some of the reasons for the disappointment:
- Don’t know how to measure progress,
- “Seeing” little to no progress after a month,
- Comparing our journey with someone else.
All these reasons have little to do with our efforts and the result, but more to do with us unconsciously setting ourselves up to failure because we have moved the goalpost.
For example, a person wants to be physically active, and they are specific enough to pick running as their activity of choice. But the goal (“pick up running”) is so vague and it doesn’t take consideration of the person’s fitness level or schedule. Let’s say the person is a novice and they can only jog for about 1 km without being out of breath. They may run 5 times in the first week then drop to 3 times in the second week and 2 in the third and forth week due to time constraint, but by the last week of January they may even be running instead of jogging. To keep themselves motivated (and accountable), they have even signed up for a online or local running group.
Then by February, the person would most likely claim that they are failing because they only run twice in the last two weeks and they are still only running 1 km. Not counting the fact that they have started from nothing to running twice a week in a month, and there is a slight improvement in their stigma and speed. They are probably comparing to this other person in the running group who is already training for that 5-km marathon race in the spring (while ignoring that other person has started their own running journey a year prior).
Sounds a bit harsh and dramatic, isn’t it? But this is really how our brain tends to function – hold onto the negative stuff and ignore the positive stuff that’s in front of us. We leave no time to celebrate our accomplishment, and immediately shift the goalpost to something that may not be realistic.
Yes, running 1 km is nothing when compared to training for a 5-km marathon race. But running 1 km consistently compared to no running at all? That’s a huge leap!
When we are able to break a “big vague goal” down into a number of manageable milestones and acknowledge our progress often, we are able to stay positive and consistent – which are really the key to stay on track and reach that goal.