They all seem to mean the same thing at first glance… or are they?
Self-assurance is a state of mind – something we all need to “make it”. Think about it, if you are not confident about what you do – why would you even take the risk to become an entrepreneur?
We live in a modern world that praises individualism and independence, but we often mistake independence for self-sufficiency. We often assume that we need to do everything ourselves and in that process unconsciously reject other people’s offer to help. This type of self-sufficiency – “being capable to fend for ourselves, alone” – actually starves ourselves from the need to connect with others. Do you notice if you are falling into this trap?
Self-reliance offers a different path towards independence. In an essay entitled “self-reliance” (1841), the American poet Ralph Waldo Emerson stated, “A foolish consistency is the hobglobin of little minds, adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines.”
Self-reliance does not exclude the connection with others but does remind us to follow our own instincts and remain true to ourselves. Emerson believed that time alone is necessary in order for us to discover our own truth and build self-confidence.
The balance between “pleasing others” and “pleasing ourselves” is a delicate one. Humans are social animals and we survive better being in a group. We should all strive to be independent and stand up for ourselves when it’s necessary, but we should also recognize the need to connect with others and build inter-dependent relationships that encourage individuality and freedom.